Problems Serve a Purpose

When was the last time you didn't have one single problem?  Was it... never?

Problems are a part of life.  In fact, we're supposed to have problems.  Yep, you read that right.  Big problems, little problems -- they're there for a reason.  Just like a car needs an engine, we need problems because they help us get from "here" to "there."  Problems help us grow.

Of course, the stubborn part of us that hates change doesn't want to move from here to there.  It likes here.  (And who can blame it because, let's be honest, change is scary!)  But the deepest, wisest part of us knows that staying "here" means stagnation.  And stagnation equals a kind of death.

Problems, when utilized as a tool, promote growth.  Can growth be painful?  Sometimes.  But growth is also profoundly beneficial because it creates expansion.  Whether it's physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual, growth is progress.  It's development, new awareness, and new life.  And it all starts with a problem.

So look your problem right in the eye and figure out what it's trying to tell you.  Your problem is your ally.  Let it show you the way to growth.

Happiness Doesn't Just Happen

It's tempting to think that once we get our hands on that one thing we're missing -- a relationship, promotion, smaller pants size, more money, etc. -- we'll finally be happy.  And then we can just coast, happily ever after (you know, like in the movies).

In reality, however, happiness simply doesn't work like that.  As soon as the excitement of these external events wears off (and it does, oh so quickly), we return to normal... and immediately start searching for our next fix of happiness.

Feel like you're on a yo-yo?  Well... you kind of are.  But you don't have to be.

If you want consistent happiness, you have to choose to cultivate gratitude every day.  On some days, this will be easy; on other days, it will be very challenging.  But the more you practice, the better you will become.

Gratitude is your key to happiness.  Begin by truly appreciating all that you have right now.  Happiness is in this very moment -- just look for it, and it's yours.

Procrastination & Expanding Your Comfort Zone

"Each day, compel yourself to do something you would rather not do."

Pay Attention to Patterns

Ever notice how similar scenarios seem to occur over and over again in your life?  Do you find yourself continually battling the same...

• ...types of obstacles?
• ...self-destructive habits?
• ...unhealthy relationships?
• ...fears and/or negative thoughts?

Where do these (and other) situational patterns stem from?

Trauma, regardless of its severity, demands that you find a way to cope... immediately.  This is an innate response, a survival mechanism.  But coping is not the same as healing.  The longer you put off dealing with the trauma, the easier it is to become the victim of conditioned responses, thereby welcoming conditioned outcomes.

The wounds that you harbor must be dealt with directly.  Until then, your subconscious mind will continue to attract situations into your life that feel familiar to the original trauma.

Can you think of any conditioned responses that you'd like to undo?  When your heart and mind are ready, the patterns will undoubtedly disclose themselves.  Once identified, treat them as allies -- these are life-changing opportunities that enable you to heal and grow.  See the pattern, break the cycle.

Self-Medicating Your Emotions

When the body is broken, we address the pain.  We aren't ashamed; we aren't embarrassed.  But the fractures in our emotional body are treated much differently. 

Due to ignorance, shame, or just plain avoidance, emotional pain is often neglected.  But pain is pain, no matter its source -- it is uncomfortable and unwanted.  If you haven't been taught how to deal with emotional pain directly, you will inevitably deal with it indirectly. 

This becomes the doorway to self-medication.  Not only does it alleviate the pain, it also feels good and keeps you distracted from having to address the real issue(s). 

Though not a comprehensive list, common types of self-medication include:

• drugs/alcohol
• no-strings-attached sex
• gambling
• overeating
• pornography
• excessive tv/video games
• push/pull toxic relationships

Notice the trend?  By overindulging in entertainment and pleasure, we temporarily flood the brain with feel-good chemicals, such as dopamine and endorphins.  It's as though we're trying to trick ourselves into believing we're okay.  But the trick never lasts.  Before long, the pain returns and we start craving our next fix.

To stop the self-scamming, start by acknowledging the pain.  You may not know why or how it got there, but give it room to surface.  Half the battle is acceptance.  The rest is simply learning.  Books, support groups, counseling, etc. all provide valuable insight into healing broken emotions.  The tools are available; the choice is yours.

The Art of Letting Go

"Life is a balance of holding on and letting go." ~Rumi  

We cannot control everything in our lives.  No-brainer, right?  So why is it so hard to let go?

On the surface, controlling a situation seems to be about making sure we get what we want.  But dig a little deeper and you'll find that control is merely a defense mechanism.  It is how we protect ourselves from the perceived threat of pain.  By vigilantly maintaining control, we disillusion ourselves into believing that we are not vulnerable.  Control keeps us guarded, thereby protected.  But no matter how hard we try, change happens anyway.

Surrendering to the flow of life takes courage and trust -- in our soul path and in God.  It requires that we shed our defenses, our façade, and our ego in exchange for the nakedness of vulnerability.  From the ego's perspective, this is both scary and intimidating.  But from a soul perspective, it is within this very place that we discover the depth of our character and the strength of our faith.

The Path to Peace

Peace is a treasure that everyone longs for but few truly find... because peace is not given; it is earned.

In its most pure essence, peace is calm, tranquil, serene, and harmonious.  But its opposing force is distress, disagreement, agitation, and discord.  Simply put, the obstacle to peace is turmoil. 

Not a single one of us is exempt from turmoil.  We have all experienced disappointment, loss, regret, rejection -- just to name a few.  The obstacle arises when the turmoil is left unaddressed and unresolved.  This invariably becomes the barrier that keeps us from peace.

To journey on the path to peace, you must be willing to acknowledge your inner turmoil, seek to understand its place in your life, forgive (yourself and others), then integrate this new awareness to achieve a more whole and balanced self.

Carl Jung famously stated, "What you resist persists."  Avoiding the memory of a painful experience will not make it go away.  To truly free yourself of the pain, you must first heal the wound.